Show not tell

What is show not tell?

ü It is when you are describing something in your writing but you don’t tell the reader what it is – Yassmine

ü You give hints and clues but don’t actually say what it is – Gracie

ü You could draw a picture – Logan and you could put hints in the picture - Miko

ü You could act it out – Jacob

Here is my sentence, where am I? Be a detective and use the clues to work it out.

I put my towel on the concrete and carefully dipped my toe into the water.    

We think you could be at the: beach, the pool, bath, shower, the lake, the river… 

The clues we used are

• People bring a towel and go into the water when they are at the beach – Hayley
• You use a towel and go I the water when you are having a bath – Memphis
• There could be concrete by the stones at the river and you had a towel and went into the water – Jacob
• It could be a spa or a pool because there is concrete and you dip your toe in carefully…in case it is hot or cold!

We are trying to show not tell in our writing. 

Here are our examples...

• As my hair blows in the cold breeze I trudge up the snowy slope – (Thomas, Sam and Jacob)
• We think you are up a snowy mountain – Mt Everest
• I lay my towel down on the rocky ground, I dived deep, deep down a waterfall (Hannah and Miko)
• We think you are swimming in a river 
• I carefully lifted off the ground. When I was in the air I put my parachute on and then I jumped (Tom and Connor)
• We think you are skydiving…
• There were colours and music swirling around me and then suddenly out of nowhere came a dragon breathing fire. (Gracie and Tayla)
• We think you are in a fairy tale, in a castle – We are at Disney on ice

 These are the Success Criteria we think you need to use show not tell in your writing

• Use adjectives (describing words)
• Have clues in your writing to help the reader understand your message
• Adding details to make the message clear.